Hi there, Hamster Spice here still. Sorry about last week, I got so kindof down and stuff, what with every man and his dog knocking the Spicies. Kind of got to feeling all insecure and stuff. The editor, in his infinate wisdom, has suggested that I branch out, that I cover more than just the Spice Girls. Maybe look at one of these trendy new groups. I don't know. I'm not sure it'll be the same, but, I'll give it a try. The editor is nice and he really doesn't want me to go... that kinda makes you feel good. Anyway, onto the news.

Spice Girls win at SMASH HITS!

They have done it again. Like last year, the Spice Girls have run off with awards from the Smash Hit's poll winners party. The whole event is voted for by the readers of the Uk teenage magazine "Smash Hits".

They won the following awards.

1. Best British Group
2. Worst Single - for Spice up your life
3. Worst Group
4. Worst Dressed person - Ginger Spice (Geri Halliwell)
5. Least Fanciable person - Ginger Spice (Geri Halliwell)

Five awards from the public, the people who count. This must mean... um... hey, four of those are bad awards. Oh dear. Um.

Maybe I should start writing about Spicy Girls in this column, then I could talk about Louise (who won Best Female singer, Best Dressed Female and Most Fanciable Female... awards with which certain production staff members more than agree...)

S. Hits?

The whole theme of this years Smash Hits party was "Super Heroes" and The Spice Girls, who jumped on stage to perform 2 songs dressed accordingly. Posh dresses as batbabe bad girl "Poison Ivy" in a nice green... I'll say dress which, like all Posh's dresses seemed to show off her nice white underwear. Sporty Spice, Mel C, dressed as Kung fu woman (according to the Sun) and we think she looked more than a little bit 'cool' and far sexier than the traditionally sexy spices. Geri dressed as Zorro according to the Sun, although we personally thought it was a Madonna homage with all that kinky gear, whips and whathaveyou. Scary Mel B dressed as catwoman, and Baby Emma came as herself - in her patent 'sack-like' dress affair thing (although the Sun was convinced that this was "Supergirl"... although we think the Sun wouldn't recognise a Superhero if they came and bit them on the Ar... )

An Audience with the Spice Girls?

The Spice Gril's audience show, a almost completely female affair was shown this weekend, and, in keeping with the air of negativity towards the Spicers, some reviews loved it, others hated it. To be honest, I completely forgot it was on, but my sister said it was "so so". Basically, the audience was 100% female except for 5 blokes who were forced to dress as the spice girls and sing. These Spice Boys, Jonathan Ross, Richard Madeley, Howard Antony, Brian Conley and Dale Winton were humiliated on stage. In fact, a lot of the show was (reportedly) male bashing, every guest having to shout "Girl Power" and other such things.

If you haven't seen any of ITV's "an Audience with..." shows, the basic idea is that you have a celebrity filled audience, during the course of the show, the audience asks whoever is on stage questions... and that's about it. Usually they're a lot of fun, if you like that sort of thing.

The Sun wrote "there was no doubt who the real stars of the show were. The Spice Girls were fresh and funny and on this showing they might be around a little bit longer than some gloom merchants predict." however, others pointed out that the male bashing, the 100% girl powerness of the show could alienate male fans - who probably, after 4 year old girls, hold the biggest share of the responsiblity for making the group as popular as they were.

The fact of the matter is, that only the Spice Girls could do this. Any other act, which filled the audience with a single sex, then knocked the opposite, would be booed off stage and would loose viewers faster than a kitten in a microwave.

Television X to show Geri Stripping.

Porn Channel, TVX "The Fantasy Channel", is to show a 4 minute strip video staring Geri. The movie, like most things, was made a couple of years ago before the girls hit the big time. People think that the girls are fuming, but, like Geri said after her "infamous" popping out

"Like there's someone out there who hasn't seen my tits"

I think most people have seen as much as Geri as they need. Although this video could be an indication of her acting ability in a pre-run-up to the Spice Girl Movie which opens on Boxing day. (The only previous 'acting' material available being a dodgy Turkish gameshow (If we Recall Correctly))