Old Mars articles from the archive.
First discovery of life. The problems with MIR. Stop Press. Retraction. Interview with the Martians. The Europan invasion.

The human clones

Human clones controlled by Martians have been seen on Earth. [Clones]

Here we see world leaders with a controlling hamster in the brain. These photographs were taken with with a twin exposure x-ray-tiphionical attachment. The 2 images were then superimposed and sectioned by the art dept, dipped in special ink, and strange underwear drawn on those in question.

The clone is remarkably good and could have been around for years. During the '92 US presidential election, Bill Clinton went mysteriously missing for three days, which is odd for such key campaigning time.

This theory is confirmed by the discovery of encrypted radio signals from the White House, the Kremlin and Downing Street. After 5 days of putting our network of mainframes to decrypting a small segment of the message, we have managed to decode a part. It reads...

Squeek! Squeek, squeek. Squeeek! Sque... Squeek.

That's all we were able to decrypt. This is particularly worrying, since squeeking is a mating call for hamsters.